Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Pre-surgery

Surgery is tomorrow morning at 9am. I'm supposed to be there at 7, which is about an hour and a half earlier than I am normally anywhere. But then, I don't have to eat, or make tea.

I'm so glad I took today off from work. It has been a difficult day. Throughout this journey, most days I have felt strong and like myself. Not today though. My emotions are all over the place....I'm practically feeling bipolar. I'm energized and disinfecting the bathroom one minute, then completely collapsed in tears the next. My eyes are red-rimmed.

This isn't how I imagined today. I imagined I would spend it strong and focused, doing meditation and prayer. A warrior goddess off to heal myself. Instead, I've been a mess.

I finally reached out to friends and posted on Facebook, asking for energy and prayers. Good move. So many of my friends have posted their support and energy. It helps so, so much. I'm still a little weepy, but feeling much less alone.

One of my friends is having a get-together at a tavern this evening, celebrating the end of her job. I think I will go join them. I won't be able to drink wine, but I'll do as much water-chugging and eating as I can! I'm not supposed to eat or drink anything after 9pm.

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