Monday, September 19, 2011

Facing fear

Yesterday was a big day for me.  I got four hours of Tai Chi instruction in one day! It was a make-up session my teacher provided for anyone who has missed classes in the past. For the first two hours he taught the form that I learn in my regular classes. I really enjoyed it! I got some really good instruction that should help me be more relaxed and effective in the form. The two hours seemed to go by really quickly.

After that I had a two hour lunch break, then returned to the school for two hours of push hands instruction. Push hands is a two-person Tai Chi form. I had assumed we would be working with a partner, but instead we simply performed solo drills. It was hard, partly because we performed the same move over and over again for 15 minutes or more, and partly because the moves were all new to me. But I was determined to stick with it and learn.

I did okay, but by the last half hour I was brain dead. I couldn't tell my right from my left. I had no idea if I was doing the moves correctly at all. I considered leaving, but I decided it was worth it to stay, if only to get a workout. And to be able to say that I made it.

And I DID make it! When I started taking Tai Chi, almost six months ago, I could barely make it through one hour of class. When the time came for the next class a week later, I felt that I had barely recovered from the previous week's class.  It has only been in the past couple of months that I haven't felt really tired at the end of an hour-long class.

So I was pretty nervous about attempting four hours of Tai Chi in one day! Now, I was pretty darn tired and sore afterward. Hungry too, but too tired even to make much in the way of dinner. I made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, grabbed some corn chips, and had a lie down.  

I'm not sure how much I got out of the push hands class, but I'm really glad I did it. I faced my fear and learned that I can make it through four hours of Tai Chi in one day. Maybe the next time a six-hour workshop comes around, as they do every so often, I'll be strong enough to do that, too!

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